you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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