I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize