did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
