Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
