i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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