I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
