some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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