There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
