i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
