you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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