How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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