i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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