My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
