"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
