Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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