Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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