Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
