I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I supernannyed him into submission
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
