Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
