we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
