How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
