Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
