FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
