i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize