Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
