I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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