okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
