I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
