Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Be still, my beating vagina.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
