Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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