I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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