porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
