I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
