Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
