how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
