Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
