Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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