she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
