dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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