I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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