I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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