allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
