Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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