its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
