Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
