we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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