The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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