Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
