That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
