i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize