Yo dont text me then not text me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
