I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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