I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize