So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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