found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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