There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
