You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize