So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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