You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
