When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize