All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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