Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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