I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
