If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
