this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
