I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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