you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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