Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
