Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My penis needs a shock collar
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
