Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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