Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
