Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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