Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
