I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
