THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
