In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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