whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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