You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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